Mangoes at 6B in 2015

One of the mango trees my maternal grandmother (didima) planted decades ago.

The view from the first floor balcony facing south of this house built by my maternal grandfather (dadu) nearly 90 years ago. The portion behind the house used to be a big garden with mango, fig, bel, coconut, banana and some more trees - all planted by didima. She even had ducks as pet, who would waddle around the house and then go back to the garden in the evenings. Didima loved duck eggs.

I remember this garden used to be dark at nights since there never was any electric connection here. it was a huge 2 katha backyard (still is) with trees and an underground water reservoir and the water pump (got stolen in 1990!).  Boro Mama was allowed to hold the annual kali puja on these grounds, but I could never have the mutton next day for lunch. Not after my dada and I played with the little kid goat the previous day before it was tied down. I never liked this idea of sacrifice and thankfully, the sacrifice was changed to huge pumkins gradually. Now of course there is no puja held here for years.

Dadu built this house on his inspector of schools salary. He had eleven children, unfortunately five of my aunts passed away in their youth - lovely looking ladies judging from their photos. I have heard dadu never accepted anything from anyone, not even in the form of 'bhet' during festivals. Can't say he lived frugally, because he and all in the family are great food lovers. And dadu enjoyed his egg-nog in the morning. But he was very careful with money, kept track of even a paise.

Dadu was born on the 9th of September sometime in the 1800s, went through ups and downs and eventually built a house in an elite part of the city. (it is not elite or bhadralok any more - thanks to the 'you-know-who' people). Generations have taken refuge in this house, stayed here whenever it suited them but till date I have not seen even one of my many well-to-do aunts, uncles, cousins build such a grand house. Dadu is no more but his house remains. I have seen so much jealousy, greed and plottings among the inheritors but not one bothers to remember the man who gave them such an elite address.

Dadu a very happy birthday to you. Bless us all to have good sense and a sense of gratitude. I keep saying 'this is the house that Jack built'. I love you dadu. Thanks a zillion for all that you taught me. You were my greatest teacher in this life. God bless your soul. Amen!

George Shalom - 9th September

George happy with opening of the sauna, steam and jacuzzi at Grand View Resort, Jamta, HP.

                                      George Shalom 9th September 1946 - 25th January 2010

"We shall rough it out together" - said George when he proposed to me in early 1985.  Of course, it had to be that and nothing else - he was a divorcee (divested of his sons and property) and I was a divorcee with three small children. Ideal, isn't it?  So we roughed it out for nearly 25 years. I say nearly because he bade a final goodbye just two months short of our silver jubilee.


3 years of living as a divorcee had taught me that I was a social outcast, a free-for-all target, other wives looking me up suspiciously (as if I was about to lure away her husband any moment), an after-thought in social invitations where my family was concerned. In other words, an undeclared pariah in my family circle or outside. I lived for three years with another divorced friend of mine and we both went through some humiliating situations. I do not feel society has changed much in all these years. Single women are still looked at in a suspicious manner, unless she has a powerful father, brother or boyfriend by her side. No one wants to know why and how she is dovorced, whether she is at fault at all.  

George was a big change in our lives - he was from Delhi, of a different faith, spoke English or Hindi, enjoyed beef curry, drank rum (okay), worked in hotels.  However, he loved cooking. My older children had great birthday parties hosted by him at home. He would cook, serve, organise games for the kids and even helped in return gifts!  So yes this change was good, it was like a breath of fresh air with new ideas, philosophies. attitudes, lifestyle, and a new city to live in - Secunderabad.

The twin cities of Secunderabad and Hyderabad were being really spruced up at that time by the then Chief Minister - N.T.Rama Rao.  The Tank-bund used to be a great place to go to in the evenings, stroll around, have a munch or two, watch the boats on the lake.  George was also in  charge of the Boat Club there.  I remember they used to make awesome chicken sandwiches at the Secunderabad club. It was here I had my fourth child, delivered with the help of a beautiful, muslim lady doctor - Dr, Nighat Baig, who also happened to be a member of the Club. We named this new daughter Sharon Grace Shalom or Kuki.

George loved dogs and we learned to love them, too. The Club had many dogs on its grounds and one of the huge female dogs gave birth to a litter. George brought home two tiny pups, I named them Bhodu and Guriyasan. I remember one night Guriyasan went out and was missing; George and all of us went looking for him with big torches. Found him but he did not live for long. Bhodu was with us till we left Secunderabad in 1989.  Meanwhile, one day while coming back from the market we had another dog follow us home and she refused to leave. Named her Lassie. She was too well-behaved to be a street dog. Anyway my life consisted of cooking separately for Bhodu and Lassie in addition to my regular chores. There were times when I would be exhausted and stop cooking for them and leave the door open for them to leave. No way. There they would sitting tight. No food, no matter, but we are not going - seemed what they said. So I go back and make extra meat for the faithful four-legged children I had.

I went back to Hyderabad 25 years later in 2010. Located the house we lived in for a short while in Tarnaka. Things have changed drastically. That house is a big apartment building and the landlady's daughter - June Franklin, lives in one of them. It was gratifying to to know she recognised me immediately! Asked after George, told her that he had passed on his journey, she also enquired about my three children. She did not know about Kuki, as she was born while we lived at the Club.

Icecream, Vimto and Pussycat

Here is a picture taken by June's elder sister when she came visiting from Australia. Icecream (Shib Shekhar Bose), Vimto (Pavitra Shekhar Bose), Pussycat(Chandra Prova Bose, later christened to Clara Pearl Shalom). 1985.
 
Why did George come into my life? Why did I prefer him to other similar proposals from rich men? The only thing that mattered to me was that I must not lose my children and George seemed to be a safe bet. He wanted a family and I looked forward to a proper conservative home with a mom and a dad and dinners together. I had so much in my childhood, I felt I owed this much to my kids, if not all the pomp and high standards I had grown up with. George was down-to-earth, a Virgo, a man who knew how to be a responsible man, loving (yes), and caring.  What more could a woman in my situation ask for? And yes we fell in love gradually, more towards the end.

You know, funny thing is when he and I went to live in Jamta for good, the first thing we discussed was how do we wish to be dealt with after our death. We decided we have to locate a Christian cemetry and a Hindu burning ghat nearby in this remote village of Himachal Pradesh. That man made me go through the works when he just upped and breathed his last. I must say the Carmel Father and sisters did a splendid job in helping me - I was lost about Christian or Catholic rituals. Not to forget the Jamta villagers who came forward to give me land to bury my husband whio had been a part of them for more than ten years. That is the first time I saw a Gram Panchayat meeting. More in my other blog.

George was always married to hotels. Any woman would always hold second place in his life and heart. Period. But I understood this pretty late into our marriage; an earlier wisdom would have helped to avoid many confrontations and my stupid over-reactions. After nearly 25 years of being married to George, a hotel man, I can say any spouse of a hotel employee should never expect the partner to have predictable timings or schedule. Yet life can be full of fun and surprises. do not come with preconceived notions and expectations. Hahaha!

Happy birthday, George! Sometimes I miss having you around.  I know you are playing frisbee up there somewhere with Lucky. Not to worry, I'll join you guys soon. God bless your souls. Amen!