Ashok Bose

24th July 1942 - 29th September 1998

Buddha Bose's eldest child and Bishnu Charan Ghosh's eldest grandson at 4/2 Rammohan Roy Road, Calcutta-9, grew in the lap of luxury and attention. He was born shortly after Bishnu Ghosh’s eldest son died in a fire accident and therefore, the amount of doting and pampering Ashok received from his grandparents and parents cannot be imagined. Nanima (Ashalata Ghosh) told me once that if and when Ashok sat on the floor, someone would immediately make him sit on a silk asana or mat.

Besides being born at an opportune time, Ashok was incredibly handsome right from his cradle. Clear blue eyes (which turned clear grey with green flecks in middle age) and the fair skin made him a winner any time. In fact, when I first met him in 1970 I compared him to Ryan O’Neill (remember Love Story); Ashok could easily pass off as a carbon copy, inclusive of the birthmark near the nose.  Just the other day one of his school and classmates, Biswanath Mukherjee said Ashok was too handsome!

Ashok was an adorable child, no doubt, but his intelligence taught him how to charm everyone and get what he wanted, even from a very young age. Not that what he wanted was always beneficial or required.  He would get extra pocket money from his grandfather by telling him what he wanted to hear and then play the same game with others in the house. He did not receive the ethical guidance on such matters, to be honest, and so what started as a way to whet his childhood appetite became a way of life.

Ashok suffered from severe convulsions when just a few months old. His mother, who was just sixteen years older, had her parents to give her support and courage during those devastating situations. I know how terrible it can be for any parent because my eldest son inherited this illness with the good looks from his father. Back to the story, Ashok was sedated with Gardenal (my son too) for some time and then eventually the doctors predicted that he would either become epileptic or develop uncontrollable temper. The latter became a reality.

Biswanath, Ashok’s friend told me that he would often go for shows on yoga and other physical shows with his grandfather even during the school days. I know he was a great yogasanist and could tell a person’s ailments just by looking at him or her. I am witness to that. But he was frivolous in his attitude and by the time we got married he was already on the way to leisure, pleasure and only ‘my way’. He never took anything seriously and was never aware of his responsibilities as a husband or a father.

Ashok loved children.  He would play ball or catch-catch with his own sons as well as with his brother’s at times.  However, the kids sensed his unruly temper and played along to keep him happy.  Ashok could fly off the handle at any given time.  Then there were moments when he would come pretty high, loaded with small toys or games for the children.  Those times he could be very endearing. He was also quite a disciplinarian and would never hesitate to try to correct even outsiders, if he saw things out of order.

By the time he finished college (Scottish Church) Ashok had developed a strong taste for alcohol.  Unfortunately, there was very little discipline at home.  He grew up in an atmosphere where he had the idea that he was God’s gift to women and his family. No constraints at home just paved the way for a disastrous life.  But, in those years there are two things worth mentioning. He was an excellent pilot and had a commercial pilot license (CPL). He was even inducted into Indian Airlines, he and a few of his batchmates from Behala Flying Club, where the instructors held him up as an ideal example for the new students.  The airlines job did not last for long, not even months!  Rajiv Gandhi (Ashok’s friend and junior) and a few others were appointed before Ashok’s batch was taken in and that upset dear Ashok. He created a ruckus and naturally Ashok’s flying career came to an end. Free at last!

Ashok more or less got what he wanted.  So when he became an adult he wanted a plane he got one.  He wanted to go to Japan, soon after our first child was born, he got it.  He came back a few months later and then wanted to go Thailand. Yes, why not. So it was arranged. This is one place where Ashok did good work. Yes he taught yoga, opened a centre and even took an expert masseuse from his grandfather’s (Ghosh’s College of Physical Education) centre to Bangkok. He helped this man, Modo, settle down there, paid for his fare back to India to get married and then helped him to go back to Thailand with his new wife.  How sweet!  As far as I know Modo is still there and now his son is running a modern yoga centre in Bangkok.

Biswanath Mukherjee told me that years ago when their Higher Secondary results were out, Ashok did somersaults of joy on the lawns of Hindu School.  Sure knew yoga and the tricks!  

Ashok was highly intelligent, could be compassionate to the degree of covering a beggar on the road with his own expensive shawl in a cold winter night, without a second thought. He could sing beautifully. He would often sing Rabindra sangeet in our house to please my dad (Brahmo).  Yes we loved those moments. His favourite song I remember was - “Prithibi amare chay, rekhona bendhe amay. chhere dao priya, khule dao bahu dor.”  He sang this quite often in a loud, abundantly musical voice.

Ashok had his last and final convulsive attack on 29th September, 1998.  It was Durga Puja Ashtami day.  When finally my kids and I could get his body released from the morgue and perform his last rites it was Lakshmi Pujo day, 5th October, 1998.   The above photo was taken in 1997, just a year before he passed away.