Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Mamoni - Ava Rani Bose

2nd July - 37 years back

Today is Mamoni's 37th death anniversary.  Mrs. Ava Rani Bose died on the 2nd of July 1976 at around 2p.m. at Calcutta Hospital on Diamond Harbour Road, Kidderpore, Calcutta.  She was forty-nine plus and had already seen her four grandsons and she seemed to still have the zest to see her daughter, Rooma married off grandly.

I met Mamoni in 1971 when I was employed with Indian Airlines and Ashok took me to his home in North Calcutta to meet his family.     That is the first time I met both husband and wife - Buddha Bose (in his flaming orange-red silk lungi and a white kurta) and an extremely large extraordinarily fat Ava Rani Bose. My first impression was that of a very warm and loving personality. I came to know she had suffered from meningitis in the past, and though she escaped death she was left with a constant running nose and an enormous increase in weight.

I believe Mamoni was among the very few ladies in Calcutta who used to drive her own car in the fifties and sixties - well when I met her she was practically house-bound and only wore an orange skirt below same colour front-buttoned top.  She spent her whole married life at her father's residence in Rammohan Roy Road - but she was always alert and active.  Mamoni ruled the roost there and took care of every family member's likes and dislikes; the cook took instructions from her every morning and honestly no one ever complained of neglect, not even the brood of servants.

I learned cooking from her and became expert in a few dishes like - 'baatichachari', fried chicken, kalo-jeerer jhol, keema curry, bhaja muger dal, etc.  Mamoni was a fantastic cook - awesome.  She simply loved good food and relished feeding others. She would sit through an entire meal just watching anyone enjoying the delicious spread - somehow she used to be gratified by seeing the other person well-fed.

I must admit today I never sensed a single mean streak in her.  When I look back today I can understand her pain and discomfort as she had to be sitting up all night propped against huge bolster pillow, so that her running nose did not suffocate her.   Yet she would be the first one to wake me up, just in case, to give my first born his early morning feed.   I gained profound knowledge from her about childbirth, taking care of babies, feeding, clothing, home remedies, oil massage and so much more.  Mamoni would quietly snooze in the sitting position after the morning domestic activities had been taken care of - duties duly delegated to each and everyone.

Education is not about going to fancy institutions and having a list of degrees behind a name, I believe.  My maternal grandfather, who used to be an Inspector of schools under the British rule said it is good to be learned but it is more important to be educated.  Mamoni personified that saying to the proverbial 't'.   she had studied up to the eighth  standard before getting married; yet she was wise beyond her years all the way through.  One prominent example of this is her visionary quality.  1974 even before my first child was born she settled part of her property in New Alipore for my future sons.  This was done to safe-guard the property from my husband Ashok's alcoholic tendency of selling it for money to buy drinks.  The same type of settlement was done with another part of the property in the name of Arun's (prone to drinking too) sons.  

Mamoni was terrifically enterprising, even in her confined condition.  She found ways of extra income by stitching cloth purses with drawstrings and beautifully embroidered.  Members of the institute were often her customers, who by word of mouth brought her more customers.  Another project was selling a tall glass of saboo-dana in milk to each and every yoga teacher who were employed by Yoga Cure Institute.

All said and done, I am still mystified by two things in her life and both are related to yoga.
1. Her husband, Buddha Bose was a renowned Yoga guru and therapist - so why could not he find some way of helping his wife recuperate from this illness?
2. Towards the end of her life, Mamoni shifted to her New Alipore residence, rather to the small outhouse which she had gifted to her daughter, Rooma.   The shifting happened in April 1976 and she died in July 1976 and the circumstances that led to her death is what mystifies me even today.  Here she lived with her daughter, husband and the Nepali maid; while I lived in the rooftop of the main building with my two infant sons.  May and June proved to be too hot in the rooftop room with glass windows, so I had gone to live with my parents in June.  It was in the morning of 25th or 26th June, 1976 that Rooma came to see me and said that I should help her contact Dr. Chaddha immediately as her mother was lying unconscious from last night! The moment I heard the details I uttered it must be cerebral hemorrhage ( I am a layperson) and my parents and I were shocked to know that the patient had been left like that all night without any medical help!?  Anyway, I immediately sped off with Rooma to the doctor's clinic and then trailed him to his various visiting hospitals but could not contact him (no mobiles in those days). There and then I decided to return home (New Alipore) and scout for any doctor in the area.  Fortunately on the way back we met Ashok's friend who had just become a practicing physician and implored him to check Mamoni.  He was on his way to a high profile interview, but he delayed his appointment.  The moment he saw Mamoni he exclaimed 'what have you people done? Why did you not call the ambulance?'  I still remember those words.  Of course the ambulance came now and Mamoni made her last journey to Calcutta Hospital, where she survived on external apparatus for five days before passing away on the 2nd of July.
I am mystified that in spite of being experienced yoga teachers with a vast knowledge about ailments, illnesses, physiology etc and their cure, why did Buddha Bose and his daughter not identify Mamoni's condition and ask for help immediately?  Why was she allowed to wallow in her sputum, cough and excreta in a coma stage the whole night?      Why?

One thing that nags me is that Mamoni made me promise something a few days before she had the attack.  I had gone to visit her with my eldest son, Icecream (named by her) for lunch she made.  When I was about to leave she grabbed my hand and asked me to promise that I would never ever take 'diksha' from my Baba or father-in-law (Buddha Bose).  I found that was pretty weird but promised by touching her (usual way of promising with most people) and never asked her why - because I was brought up never to question elders!!!  I never did and at this late age can guess why she made me promise. Amen!

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